Friday, February 5, 2021

Coming to terms

After my pregnancy annoucement on social media, I was bombarded with adverts including diapers, milk bottles, insurance plans and a surprising amount of literature. 


"How to prepare your child for a sibling"

"Soothing and feeding a fussy baby"

"I am going to be a big sister"

"Award winning baby sleep training methods for the new mum"

"Baby is coming!" 


What I really needed to know was this - how does one cope with a pregnancy one did not want? 


In the year 2020, our family grieved with close friends over two miscarriages and one confirmation of inferitility. At the same time we welcomed joyfully into the world 9 new borns, some planned, others not. As a volunteer counsellor, I came across five stories of miscarriages (including a horrendous story of one who's heart stopped beating at week 18 without reason) and two couples on the brink of divorce due to infertility issues. 


The truth is, all this knowledge and experience with others, did not at all prepare me for our unplanned third pregnancy. Not. One. Bit. 


Not the sort to have a nervous breakdown, I remember starely blankly into space for some minutes. Those minutes became hours, days and then eventually months. Part of the truth was that my body was very sick from the early weeks of pregnancy, it had been the case every time. Insomnia. Nausea. Exhaustion. Black outs etc. But I knew deep down, that I had gone into hibernation because I was depressed. 


Lying in bed for hours in the mornings while the children were in school. Sometimes reading. Sometimes crying quietly. And at other times just staring at the ceiling. JG would come and check on me in the day when he could, but I could not even tell him what drama I was streaming. I had no consciousness of what I was watching, it was just there to distract me from myself. 


Have I come to terms with this pregnancy?

It would be a lie to say I have. But I have begun writing about it like this. How in the same way, I started writing to allow my post-natal depression with Humblet unravel. That's a start.

With each scan, Omelette grows bigger and stronger. That single pulsating heartbeat now has limbs and a round comical belly attached to an egg shaped head. We are so grateful that pregnancy lasts all these months, so that we also have the time to get stronger and love better.   


Maybe I will write more regularly from now on, but maybe I won't. 

This is just to say, thank you for reading about my struggle. Uncensored, unedited and unresolved. 

Thursday, August 27, 2020

SINGLET'S VICTORY



Singlet has been home for slightly over a week today and has been recovering steadily.

He underwent open heart surgery to patch a hole and repair a valve, which required two ribs to be broken.

The chest wound site is about 3inches long and is closing well. The plug holes on his neck, lower abdomen and wrists are healing too. As per advice, we will keep him home for a month to prevent infection of the main wound and minimise visitors. The rib fracture will take about six weeks to heal and he is encouraged to cut down on excessive physical activity.

He tires easily but is extremely cheerful. The main struggle now helping him to feel comfortable at night. The itch can be unbearable and when he turns the wrong way he cries out in sheer pain.

Other than that, the hardest bit is over. And we rejoice that Nathan is victorious!

Thank you for loving us in so many practical ways. We are taking things as slowly as possible, relishing every day with the little hero.

Tuesday, July 28, 2020

Singlet - The Long Story



We are so grateful for the many of you who have been asking for more details about Nathan’s upcoming surgery. Here is the detailed post for those who are interested –

We met up with the cardiological surgeon on the 20th of July after they had conferred on Nathan’s case prior. The doctor explained his condition with much detail, drawing exactly where and what the problem was.

In summary - Nathan has to go for a open-heart surgery on the 14th of August in order to patch the hole (VSD) in his heart because (1) there hole is causing a leak (2) the pressure from the leak is causing the valve above the hole to become deformed.

How do we feel?
We are actually very relieved that we live in such times where his heart can be fixed. For the medical advancements and the professionalism of our public healthcare system.

Certainly, there are fears of the worst and stress regarding his care. But overall we are excited to see this boy thrive whole when all this is over.

What will we do?
On the practical front, we will be taking him out of school as per the doctor’s advice from August, so as to minimise falling sick and any other kind of contamination to prepare him for surgery. We will likewise be minising social contact to immediate family members or unless necessary. There will be some tests involved, but he will not be hospitalised for these.

Post-surgery we will be in the hospital for up to a week. And we have to try and minimise activity when we get home. We will keep him home for another month then, to prevent infection of any sort and to allow him time to heal. Both physically and mentally.

What can you do?
Well. For starters we appreciate all your prayers for the little guy and the surgeon’s hand.

Humblet turns five on the 10th of August, we would appreciate remembering her in this time as well. We do not want her to feel ‘punished’ or ‘abandoned’ as a result of what Singlet has to go through.

Cooking will be challenging, so if you think of us during that period, you could send a meal or some caffeine over whenever. 

*update* - someone suggested this clever meal train planner so you if you'd like to send us a meal, simply click on the link and pick a date that suits you here

He will be spending quite a bit of time at home, so we would love to schedule video calls with you and your children if that is possible.

In terms of cost, we are under the category Class C, this translates into the most subsidised tier. Thus, we are not too worried about cost, neither should we allow cost to be a concern. 

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Please understand that we will not be taking visitors during this time. But we would be more than happy to join you for a trip to the zoo, a fun day at the beach or even meet you in the park when all this is over.

Once again, we are so grateful for this online community that treats us like family. We will update as we go along.

Tuesday, October 29, 2019

A BROKEN HEART AND A BROKEN ARM



     This Friday past, the promising beginning of a long weekend filled with plans to cycle, swim and spend quality time with family and friends. We were left emotionally shipwrecked and utterly at a loss instead. One day, someday, we will look back at this season and laugh, laugh heartily. But indulge us for the moment as we struggle to gain composure and get our act together.

Here is the latest on Singlet and Humblet –


Sunday, September 15, 2019

WHY CHILDREN'S BOOKS?



Exactly a week ago, we launched a Children’s Book Series –The Invisible People with Graceworks Publishing. Many are asking us about the background of these books, but allow us to first tell you a little about the books in the series first –


Friday, August 23, 2019

SAVE SERIES: PLAY TIME




As promised, this second edition of the SAVE SERIES revolves around play time! Whether it be outdoors, indoors, water play or art our kids love to play. Humblet is very tactile and has to feel things for herself. She loves collecting textures of different sorts in her paper cutting box. On the other hand, Singlet is more auditory and prefers to make instruments out of his toys, dancing the moment he hears music.

With every child unique and having individual preferences how do we SAVE at play time?

Here’s the full run down –


Thursday, August 8, 2019

HIS BIG ONE





In two days time, Humblet turns four. The Jiblings are a mere two weeks apart in birthdays. Singlet turned a whole year old on the 27th of July, what a whirlwind of a year it has been for us all.

If you have been following dearhumblet.com for awhile now, you would know we are not big on parties or celebrations. Being homebodies, we largely avoid crowds of any sort and gatherings in our home usually revolve around half a dozen guests at max. But we wanted to make an exception for Singlet's miracle and so here’s the story of his big first birthday bash -