Wednesday, March 18, 2015

The ugly truth about readers (and English Teachers)

This hilarious bookshelf by Tom Gauld

The short post would be -

The ugly truth about readers is that they are more like 'book-buyers' in reality. Sorry to disappoint.

But if you'd like, you can read on. . .

Perhaps its not the whole truth, but to a large extent. Here are some truths & myths I've discovered about readers and maybe even English Teachers over the years. . .

1. While girlfriends make a beeline into Topshop and Zara for the year-end SALE, we gesture towards the nearest bookstore to take cover. 

Except when I'm in a bookstore, I feel out of place because heaps of boyfriends are doing the same and I'm not one of them. How they I know they are boyfriends? Well, that's because of all the shopping bags they are precariously balancing while browsing in the magazine section.

2. No, I have not heard of this author before.

I confess! I've not read every single author in the Literature / Classics section, oh the shame!

A myth about readers is that they have read all authors and have scrutinised styles of them all. I get texts at times that go like this - 'Ames, what's your review of so-and-so? I'm thinking of buying whatever-title but I'm not sure.'

Hey man, buying a book is a risk, unless you want to spoil it by speed-reading through it first. Either way, I'm not a book review hotline, neither did I read everything since the 1800s dude.

P.s. I do make tons of grammatical errors and I did have issues spelling 'occasion' and 'diarrhoea' growing up. Actually that still looks wrong?

3. Entering into a bookstore is a harzard for my wallet

Recently, while attempting to find space for my new fantasy novels in the bookshelf, I realised to my horror, that there was no more space. I then decided to migrate those I've read into the storeroom ... the end result was that I still had a whole shelf of books. Why?!

You try logical reasoning at first, they are expensive, you'll not have enough time to read them all. But I love this author, and this book cover draws me in, I think the synopsis is epic! Then all of a sudden you lose your mind and walk out with $200 worth of papers in your arms.

4. Extremely prone to cramps

Its so challenging to find the perfect position for reading, but once you do you tend to forget to move.

First you sit back against a mountain of pillows. . .then your back starts to ache
so you slide down to just one or two pillows. . . after awhile your neck starts to tighten,
you then turn on your side and use your arm as a book stand.

The next thing you know its the next morning and the most horrifying thing ever is - realizing your book has fallen shut and you have no idea where was the last page you read. NO!!!!!!

5. You lose awareness of your surroundings

There has been more than one occasion when a waiter comes and taps me on the shoulder to let me know their cafe is closing. I'm so sorry, thanks for not switching off the lights on me.

You'd think that with smart phones these days, wired kids (and aunties streaming dramas) are a real hazard, be it to fellow pedestrians or motorists. We've totally been there and done that guys. Walking into a pole or colliding into a pram? Totally old school.


And the list goes on. I'm thinking about doing another post about good reading habits, maybe after I'm done with what I'm currently reading. Suffice to say, I can never be more grateful for Public Libraries and the kindle I stole from my brother. First you read them on your tech, if they're really good, then get the paperback.


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