Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Fatherhood Favouritism

gif designed by cherie lim for humblet

Fortunately for me, I'm a daughter and I have a father myself.

Unfortunately though, I'm having a daughter and J.G. is driving me nuts whispering to humblet everyday as if she hear him at that volume. . .even as I type, he's soaked through in perspiration fixing up the drawers for her nursery with random shouts of 'humblet, this is all for you!' What a nut.

The Post-Mortem

After the drawers were finished, the parents of humblet sat down for a quiet night snack.
Here are some of my thoughts after this post yesterday -

1. Fathers do not exasperate your children

These wise words are definitely based on tonnes of evidence built up over thousands of years. It's the dad who will annoy their kids by poking them, tossing them about, wrestle them when their about to sleep (only to incur the wrath of the already exhausted mother).

I watched a three-year old shove his dad away from his play area because dad's idea of basketball was to hold the ball out of reach from his barely 4-foot tall son, then dunk it spectacularly over his head. How fun.

2. Husbands love your wives

Another wise phrase that may seem hugely irrelevant to newly married couples, but one that strikes you as children come along the way. One may assume its only natural that a man loves his wife, but this love could turn into duty / responsibility / compatibility if a couple were not careful.

Mothers I believe are just as susceptible. You spend all day with your kid, and some even spend all night next to their child. Where's the husband in the picture. Statistics tell us that a child who has loving parents generally grows up much more secure, confident and commitment to his / her own family. Thus it seems there's more truth to the above statement than a host of jealous wives.

And so we remind each other daily that we are married to one another, not to our children.

3. It takes a village to raise a child

Watching a dear same-age friend raise three young children, I can not help but raise both hands in agreement to this age-old cliche. Good parenting begins and ends in community.

She never hesitates to discipline her child even when we are around. Neither do we cringe or get embarrassed by it, instead we stand by her and encourage her children toward the same behavior. We try our best as uncles and aunties to use the same parenting metalanguage as she does, so her children understand these are important.

If you want your children to be socially adept, consider your own friends and relatives. They will be next most influential people in your child's formative life after you.


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