|the first month|
Humblet just recently turned a month old.
I'm not so flippant as to say, 'oh, time passes so quickly!' Simply because, when she cries its as if time stands still and more so because I want to savour everyday with her, knowing each one is a gift. From being hospitalised for jaundice, to her first month party and most recently her being able to turn her head at tummy time, I grow increasingly convinced that I am a mother.
Motherhood musings of the first month -
Suffice to say, motherhood is not for me. I tire easily from small talk, so I resist support groups with a vengeance. I'm also only on social media for updates on my friends, especially those overseas, so I barely pause to read mummy forums, facebook groups or other forms of shared mothering platforms.
Despite my love for reading, motherhood literature is tiresome because (as I discovered) there are SO MANY who claim to be authorities on this or that, but almost every book or theory pulls in a different direction. One expert says cry training from birth develops resilience and self-soothing skills, another explicitly emphasises that new mothers should not attempt cry training until baby is three months. And that's only one issue, there's still feeding, napping, wake time theorists. Don't even get me started.
All my gripes aside, Mya continues to grow day by day. Like any other baby, she cries, she poops and feeds and feeds and feeds. Thus, while I may be the wrong temperament for mothering, but its a little too late to back out now.
In this first month, I've summarised motherhood in three words - Trial and Error.
I never thought my sickly body would be able to sustain another human, but here I am six weeks on with Mya solely on breast milk. She drinks and drinks until her cheeks are chubby and her thighs are beginning to look like a baby's, versus the lengthy, scrawny ones she was born with.
Her cries vary from barely audible whimpers to dramatic wailing plus choking. I don't always know why she cries. Sometimes its a dirty diaper, often times she's hungry but there are times everything seems alright outwardly and yet she continues to scream. Maybe a hug? Or maybe a tummy rub?
Some days go by right on schedule, other days are filled with piercing cries and inconsolable screams. We're far from perfect parents. But where there are gaping inadequacies, we fill these pot holes with love and more love. A reassuring hug, a warm soothing bath, any and every lullaby we know or simply an 'I love you'.
Enter the second month, let's do this!